The Infrequently Updated Page

Gripe of the moment

Walkmans? Walkmen? Whatever the plural is.... why do they go knackered so quickly? I seem to get through them so quickly these days. I suspect it's due to my above average build causing a slight "overhang" on my belt which pushes against the walkman forcing it away from the belt fitting and causing undue strain on the headphone socket and the belt-clip (which are inevitably the parts which give way first). Perhaps a new range of "Waddlemen" for people of "generous builds" could be introduced?

Exciting personal fact of the moment

Although many people see my childhood home, Pilling, as an uninteresting village in the North-West of England (and still more people just say "where?") Pilling has a fine and interesting historical tradition and has many mysterys and exciting historic things for the visitor to witness. A brief list of some of the more interesting pieces of history:

• Broadfleet Bridge features the only "devil's footprint" in the north of England - left there by Satan himself as he was forced out of the village after an argument with the schoolmaster.
• Cockerham Marsh to the north has a history of strange lights leading travellers off the tracks and also of demonic possession.
• In the 19th century Pilling was home to a notorious "baby farm". For a price, women with unwanted pregnancies could stay until the baby was delivered. The child would then be "taken care of" in either sense of the phrase depending on fees paid.
• A severed woman's head was found on Pilling Moss in 1824.

Gratuitous plug of the moment

"Life after God" by Douglas Coupland - magnificent - I won't attempt to review it.

Tacky object of the moment

A bit of software this time. I was horrified by the demo of Knowledge Adventure - 3D Dinosaur adventure. This is a bit of software so unselfconscious in its imbecility it will make you feel fear. Here are just some of the features

• Dozens of 3d movies of dinosaurs. See dinosaurs fight, eat, fight, relax and FIGHT.
• Create your own dinosaur with the Create-o-saurus.
• Save your favorite dinosaurs from a comet.
• Explore the world's first THREE D, VIRTUAL REALITY, DINOSAUR MUSEUM.
• Gag at the thought that this is being sold as an educational program and that there are people out there who can mistake staring at pictures of a T-Rex killing things for education.

Put on your 3d glasses now.