A letter about monkeys

Well let's see... Some Colors May Run.. I skimmed thru it a little bit and was reminded of a Dr.Who Episode, but I'd rather skip the short story commentary for now and tell you about your ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS homepage, and the freakish uncanny resemblances between this homepage and my life.

First off, you commented on some chimps. This brings to mind a rather amusing story. You see, I live in a neighborhood of old pple. I am soon becoming the only young person on the street, as my good friend is moving away from this block. Now, one of the older couples (the "G's" (we'll call them) Are a very peculiar couple, kind..but a little tipsy. WELL, one lovely morning I recieved a phone call from Mrs."G". She had found a beachball in her yard and was certain it was mine! (now this is odd, considering a beachball implies the beach, which implies sun, which implies I actually SEE the sun) So I set off to claim this beachball that wasn't mine. I am welcomed to their scary home and sat down on a chair which smells faintly of strange things which I shall not describe. I was given the Beachball.. and then promptly CAPTURED. There was no escape, the doors were all shut quickly. I was stuck there to listen to some lovely stories about the snotty-racist girl in my english class who goes to their church whome they LOVE because she writes just the BEST stories... I sat their null and void, staring into that foggy cataract-covered milky eye of hers listening to her chat happily to me.

As the clock ticked away slowlyand my brain began to numb, Mrs."G" seemed quite excited. You see, Mr."G" wasgoing to show me his MONKEY COLLECTION. My brain unfroze for a moment and I awoke from the haze. Monkey collection... stimulation...monkey collection..wow. I pulled myself away from that cloudyblue eye that looked like one of those disected cow eyes you always see being pulled apart by children on public television.

I was presented slowly with rather ugly primates..until he came to his crowning acheivement. They placed the redish brown fun-fur monkey into my arms... I closed my eyes.. "Press his hand, honey" they told me... I pressed the monkeys hand...

Suddenlly I was assulted by a vibrating, chirruping monkey! Terror masked with false laughter pleased my two old jailkeepers. I looked at the clock feverishly... waiting for the monkey to just STOP! How long had I been there? 1 hour? 2 hours?

SUDDENLY HELP!

My dear friend came in bringing the "G"s their MarketDay Chillie they had ordered from the highschool! 20 more minuts of casual discussion... We were offered melting and old toffee, which we ate... and then my fine friend had an excuse..she had to get home..her cookies were probably burning.. oh yes, and I needed to go too just in case something bad happend......

With hurried goodbyes and a beachball we burst forth from the House of Monkeys. and into safety.

So that's my little story.

that's not the only weird coincedence.. (the monkey connection that is) shall I tell you more? I will seeing as how you don't have a voice in this matter.

now it was funny how I stumbled upon your homepage...quite by accident. I was probably looking for porn..(as that's what all Teenage American girls do, isn't it?) but I found that Tarot thing.

(this is where the next connection comes in) Just the night before I was at a birthday party for a girl I barely know..but her mother was nice:> anyway... her mother mentioned that she had thrown away her own tarot cards because they had been hitting too close to home and it scared her. This comment is what struck me to look up tarot thru "Net Directory" (or whatever that is..oh dear, I guess that means I wasn't looking for porn?;)) anyway I found your little tarot thing and went on to look at the rest of your home page.. I was quite impressed.

Also, this girl's mother was a Horteculturist (spelling?) when she was younger (probably 20's)... Oh don't stop reading yet! there are still MORE ties! At that very sleepover I suggested we rent HIGHLANDER 1 becaues the other two sucked;) but noone had heard of them and we ended getting some dorky film instead.

I can tell you're engrossed?

I guess I won't go on to tell you the strange similarties between me figuring out Netscape without a manual and the new BatMan film...

hehehehehe

Well anyway, I really really like your deal on WWW. You sound like a really neat guy.. In fact, I'd set you up with my sister but she's only after Swedish men...:/ Also, I would set you up with myself but I'm too young and already got a man;)

Sooooooo bonus points for being clever and funny on your HomePage:>

Sorry for my horrible Ramblings. Oh yeah, your short stories were ...unique.;>

Yours,

Laustic (my irc nick)


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