Thin Films

Never one to knowingly underuse a joke Dr. Douglas Clow came up with the following:

Food of the Plods

Anthony Hopkins stars as a not-very-capable scientist who only retains his job as a Junior Lecturer in a run-of-the-mill provincial University because he got tenure back in the 1970s when they still did that sort of thing. He struggles against the enormous odds of his ineptitude to create a foodstuff that will cause anything to grow to enormous size. In a thousand to one accident, and because of his ignorance of the rigorous safety procedures which might have prevented it, some of it gets left on the set of a second-rate sitcom based in a Police station and starring Rowan Atkinson, where the rest of the cast consumes it and grows to enormous size. Unfortunately they are still smaller than Mr Atkinson's ego and the sitcom proceeds. The University authorities are overjoyed on discovering the incident because it means they can finally fire the witless scientist for gross misconduct.

Thermite and Louise

Hard-hitting tale about two women who set out for a happy weekend away together. However, circumstances overtake them and their plans soon change: they discover the attractions of highly-exothemic metal redox reactions and take up careers as welding engineers instead.

The Remains of the Data

A poignant character study, based on one person's struggle to recover an accidentally deleted file on their computer.

The Municipal Seven

Yul Brynner stars as the foreman of a small group of Local Council manual workers.

The Undergraduate

Played to an intrusive musical backdrop by the Spice Girls which sounds very modern now but will be recognised for the tat it is in five years' time, Dustin Hoffman is an undergraduate who develops a crush on a married woman almost twice his age. Unfortunately for Dustin Hoffman, her relationship with her husband is very important to her and she doesn't find feckless youth attractive anyway, so she's just not interested.

Tatman

Val Kilmer stars as an accountant who finds it difficult to throw things away, even when they're patently without value. Thrills and excitement abount as he struggles to find space in his cupboards and loft for the junk he accumulates through his humdrum life.

Bill and Ted's Non-excellent Adventure

Keanu Reeves and the one whose name no-one can remember are two high-school kids who'd rather fantasise about becoming rock stars than do their history assignment. When a strange, tall figure strides into their lives they hope that he'll help them realise a future beyond their wildest dreams. Unfortunately, he's only the school truant officer, and the high point of their future turns out to be when they manage to hold down jobs at McDonalds for four months.

The Great Escapade

Incarcerated in the Nazis' highest-security prison camp during WW2, a group of British POWs (including Steve McQueen and Donald Pleasance) plan a daring and heroic escape. When their first escape plan is discovered by the prison guards, weeks before it is put into action, the camp Commandant has every last one of the conspirators shot forthwith.
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